Apparently there's a website running illegal investment program on planet.time.net.my and those idiots back at The Securities Commission (SC) blocked the whole domain. And no thanks to them, I had to rebuild my whole blog.

So, what do you guys think of this new template?

I know this is like a few weeks late, but did you guys catch Miss Universe earlier this month? Miss USA falls flat on her ass, hilarious! And when the audience booed her during the interview, PRICELESS!! That is like my favourite moment from the entire event. For some odd reason, Miss USA taps this hidden rage in me. From her face expression, I just knew that she is a big bitch. I mean, did you see her face when they announced her for one of the spot in the top 15? She is like “Hey, I am like so hot and I am like not going to smile and everything, and that I am like the shiz and I am totally going to win this thing”.

Miss Japan won the coveted crown, big whoop. It is a like a pity win. They should’ve won last year. Kurara Chibana is much much hotter than Riyo Mori. Mori is kinda cute, but she looks hungry and anorexic. I could see her rib cage. Rib cage = FAIL! And one her tits is kinda bigger that the other.


There might be something wrong with eyes, or my head, but I find that bald Flaviana Matata (Miss Tanzania) totally hot. She is pretty and that clean shaved head suits her really well. Better than that bitch Miss USA anyway. Tanzania should’ve been in the top 5. She was robbed by Miss fall-on-her-ass-and booed-by-the-awesomeness-Mexicans.

The Good: It ran for only 92 minutes.

The Bad: It felt longer than the Lord of the Rings’ trilogy and it sucks in every aspect of filmmaking.

First, there’s the bad screenplay. I don’t really know where they find these screenwriters. It is based on a comic book so ridiculous storyline should’ve been baked right in. But the screenplay is just downright ridiculous, with no story whatsoever. And the jokes, oh my God, is even sadder than the bald Britney Spears. I do remember one joke that is somewhat funny. But still, it does not qualify for a laugh out loud moment.

Second, the mismatch cast. Johnny Storm and Sue Storm are siblings, but in this movie, Johnny is Caucasian and Sue is Latina. When the hell is up with that? Even a mongoloid can detect that from afar. Everyone in the movie just seems out of place. I can’t really put my finger on it, but the Fantastic gang just doesn’t go together.

Third, the bad acting. I don’t really know what went wrong here, but the acting is so stiff, I’ve seen a dead body more animated than the actors in this movie. Ioan Gruffudd reminds me of a nervous guy trying to remember his line. Chris Evans, I don’t really know why but he seems angry in every movie I’ve seen him in. Jessica Alba, she’s not really an actress. She’s more like this pretty little thing we see so the movie doesn’t seem so sad. Her ultra super duper blue eyes and fake blonde hair is a total “what the fuck?!” moment. Michael Chiklis was ok, but that is probably because we can’t really see him in that huge orange suit. Julian McMahon was an embarrassment! I cannot believe I actually rooted for him when he was rumoured to play the next James Bond. I know Daniel Craig is ugly, but thank God he got that role instead of Julian. Julian needs to go back to acting school.

Fourth, the ugly CGI. For you that have seen the movie, can you believe this crap actually cost roughly USD$ 130 million to make? Even Fellowship of the Ring only cost USD$ 93 million to make. I guess they use the money to blueify Jessica Alba’s eyes and bleach her hair because that is the only thing that stands out in this movie. Other than that, most of the special effects looks like it was rendered on a Celeron powered PC.

Last but not least, the bad direction. Christopher Nolan got his dark macho style for Batman, Bryan Singer mix and match the mood for X-Men, Sam Raimi take the easy rollercoaster ride and a bag of popcorn for Spider-Man, Ang Lee went for a sad and sappy, almost soap opera-ish take for The Hulk, but Tim Story ruins the whole production by turning Fantastic Four into a piece of garbage. This movie has got to be the worst comic book adaptation that I’ve ever seen. I haven’t watch Ghost Rider yet so that is just conjecture.

My dad was in Mecca about a month ago and he took this picture while he was there. You can always trust the Arabs to butcher the English language.

I would like you guys to meet Paul Potts. This guy is going to be the next great thing to come out of Britain. He may not have the look, and previously he worked as a mobile phone salesman but he got everything to make it big in the operatic scene. Seriously, I got major goose bump attack listening to his voice.

The Three Tenors, stop being assholes and open a slot for a fourth tenor. It looks like Pavarotti is going to bite the dust soon anyway, so they may need a replacement. Enter Paul Potts.

The school holiday is over. Thank god, that means no more wedding invitations. I hate school holidays. It is the one time of the year when most of my friends decided to ruin their lives and get married. To top it all off, they expect me to show up at their weddings. And as a sign of protest, I do show up, but don’t expect me to bring a gift or an envelope filled with cash. No sir. I come with an empty stomach and intend to leave with a full one. No more, no less.

I’m not gonna lie. When I was a kid, I love weddings. When there is a wedding invitation, I always wanted to go. It was fun you know, for a kid. I get to meet my friends, eat good food, and made fun of the really odd looking bride and groom. There’s no worry when you are a kid. But now, whenever I go to a wedding, I just hope that I don’t meet anybody I know. God knows that that are gonna ask me. It is always the same question, when is it going to me my turn to get married. My answer too, has always been the same. I smile, and walk away.

It is a big question mark though, when is it going to be my turn? Yep, I’m asking myself that very same dreaded question now. I do believe that I am very much still young. There’s no need to rush, right? I just want to take it slowly, one step at a time. The problem is, I haven’t so far managed to get to the first step, get a girlfriend. I don’t know, maybe in a way, I’m unconsciously and without knowing, do not want this to happen. I had my chances, but I always manage to blew it off and ruin it.

I have great parents though. At least they don’t ask me a lot of questions. But I have a feeling that they might think that there is something wrong with me. I’m just being paranoid I guess. It’s better for them to shut up than interrogate me.

The final film in the first wave of blockbusters is finally here. Shrek 3 premiered on the 31st of May in Malaysia, a few weeks late from the world premiere. Kinda funny though, cause we usually get our movies quite early, what with the piracy and sniffing pups.

Shrek is back with his gang, and together they went on a journey to find a new king for Far Far Away as the frog king finally croaked. Shrek is the only rightful heir to the throne, as he is the one that married Fiona, but knowing his ogre ways, he refused the crown and see if there anybody out there that can replace him. The person next in line for the throne is Arthur (King Arthur, getit?) but he is still in high school and a loser. He kept getting his ass kicked by Lancelot, the high school jock. It took quite a while for Shrek to convince Arthur to follow him back to Far Far Away so that he doesn’t have to be the king. Unbeknownst to him, another person is trying to steal the crown from him, the sore loser and ultimate vanity, Charming, son of the dead fairy godmother from Shrek 2. He and his ensemble, the villains from every possible fairy tale stage a coup to overthrow Shrek and Arthur from the kingdom of Far Far Away. Fiona, very much a pregnant ogress (!!!!!!!) alongside her mother and princesses like Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and one of Cinderella’s stepsister (yeah, she switched sides) were kidnapped and imprisoned in a dungeon!


I have to say, Shrek 3 did not manage to stay as fresh as Shrek 1 and 2. Most of the jokes were recycled, with a few original anecdotes but still far from being hilarious. The puss in boots trying to look cute joke is back. I don’t understand why they have to use that again. It was hilarious when I first saw it in Shrek 2, but by now, it is like old news. There’s one scene during the death of the frog king that made laugh out loud though, the part where he gave Shrek a dirty look for making an inappropriate joke on his death bed. That scene alone is way funnier than the whole movie. Even now, whenever I think of that scene, I still laugh. I would watch this movie again just to see that scene.


Fairy tales history is totally butchered in this film. I bet Hans Christian Anderson is rolling in his grave right now. I mean, the princesses that I mentioned before is like total bitches now. Repunzel (sp?) is like a total whore, Snow White is a punk chick, Cinderella is schizophrenic (from years of torture I guess) and Sleeping Beauty is the bimboest of them all with her ditzy personality. But still, it was fun looking at the princesses from a different perspective. I just hope little kids that watched the movie don’t take it the wrong way. I did mention that Fiona is now pregnant right? It is so funny looking at Shrek getting all worried, thinking that he might not be a good father seeing how his own father tried to eat him when he was a baby.

Now, I’ve seen Muslim men doing things they are not suppose to do. They do drugs, they drink alcohol, they gamble and they have sex with any kind of women that will have them. This thing is now widespread and turning into a norm, so it is a little hard to insinuate to them what is right and what is wrong anymore. Really, try talking to them. Either they ignore you, or came up with stupid reasons that will make you roll your eyes.

But there’s one thing that they still refuse to do. This is the mysterious part. They won’t eat pork. Yeah, they won’t! It is hilarious. They drink alcohol up to the point they get kidney failure, gamble all their life’s worth, they have a cocktail of drugs in their blood and a bundle of STDs and illegitimate children, but when it comes to pork, they will always say one thing: No, I don’t eat pork, Haraam!


Ironically, these buggers actually know what haraam is. I mean, when you already committed much too many sin that the angel on your left shoulder actually asked God for an increment, not eating pork because it is haraam should be the least on your mind.


I like pigs. I don’t eat them, I don’t touch them, but I think they’re cute. I was born in the year of pig and extremely proud of it.