I am not happy by this interruption either, but blaming it 100% on TM is not fair. They didn’t send in the quake, God did. So, if you are thinking of blaming someone regarding this, think of the repercussion. You do not want to piss the Almighty. We are already at the brink of extinction and we do not need His wrath. Quake, flashflood, more quakes, and more flashflood, people’s life gone, just like that. And I believe even the crappiness of TM, they are doing something about it, even if it doesn’t that much of a different.

But it truly saddens me, reading the newspaper a couple of days ago, people complaining about how this communication meltdown somehow “disconnects” them from the world. A word of advice, when God put you in a coma, that’s “disconnected” from the world. When He revives you from the coma, you are simply “rebooted and reconnected”. And when he takes away your life, the means God is putting you on a permanent “shut down”. So, a few days of slow internet is hardly “disconnected”.

One of the complaints that I read is from a girl, where all her contacts are online and it’s hard for her to communicate. Hello, ever heard of an offline backup? Who told you to put everything online? That is like putting a “crab” on your vagina and asking for an STD. People can be really stupid sometimes. When it comes to backup, there’s no one that is more anal than me I guess. For examples, phone numbers. Not only do I save phone numbers in my online contacts, but I also have it offline, in my mobile phone, and also on a piece of paper that I keep in my drawer, in case of a nuclear holocaust or something. You never know when shit happens, and you just gotta be prepared for the worst.

There’s another complaint that borders sadness, from a guy who can’t go online to play his favorite online games. I would love to ask him, when was the last time he went out and meet his friends in the flesh? My guess is never, but who knows, he could be living in his parents’ basement and locked up. Blogger community, who find it a must to tell everything that is happening in their life and have to update their “online diary” every day, another pathetic bunch. Please, going out, have a drink, come home, masturbate and then go sleep, that is like enough! I am just as pathetic, but hey, I’m not complaining.

The quake is God’s way of telling the internet addicts to “go out and get a life you freak!”

I tried everything from that stupid French crap, Vichy, to the new Loreal Pure Zone lineup, nothing works! The curse of this stupid whey is too damn strong for any of this miracle concoction to work. That is it, I am off that stupid whey starting tomorrow. Back to tofu I guess, those things taste crapstacular! But no, I still need to shed off at least 30 more kilos to get my optimum weight (yeah, I’m that overweight!) Failure is not an option, and it is definitely not in my life dictionary.

This is just great. I am an underlove, overweight 23 year old, with acne problems. I should be on Oprah right now.

Lene Marlin: This cute little lady came out of nowhere in 1998 with her first infectious single, Unforgivable Sinner. It became a huge hit in a few countries, and I can still remember hearing the song for the first time on MTV Asia. Right after the song finishes, I rush to my PC to download the song as I was rather cheap back then. The follow up to Unforgivable Sinner, Sitting Down Here, again became a huge hit, thus making her one of a very few of Nordic acts to achieve international recognition. Her first album, Playing My Game was released in the same year, prompting me to get her album. It was worth every penny.

Notable singles: Unforgivable Sinner, Sitting Down Here, You Werent There, Another Day

Albums: Playing My Game, Another Day, Lost In A Moment

Royksopp: Again, thanks to MTV, I discover another wonder from Norway. More on the eclectic electrical sound, Royksopp consist of two band member, Torbjørn Brundtland and Svein Berge (kinda hard to pronounce, I know). The first single I heard from them is Remind Me. The music video caught my attention, with it weird yet interesting animation. Their next single, Poor Leno, also did well, and again with animated video. Royksopp sound is very unique and individual, they are incomparable. I can’t think of any other band that has the same sound as Royksopp. Maybe Goldfrapp, but Goldfrapp is more towards disco than electric. My favorite Royksopp song came from their second album, The Understanding. Only This Moment was the first single from the album and it was amazing track. Interesting note, if you got Gwen Stefani new album, The Sweet Escape, try and listen to track 12, Wonderful Life. It has got nothing to do with Royksopp, but the sound is eerily similar to Royksopp. If I never heard of Gwen, I swear I would’ve mistaken it for a Royksopp song.

Notable Singles: Remind Me, Poor Leno, Only This Moment, What Else Is There?

Albums: Melody A.M., The Understanding

Kings Of Convenience: I was flicking through the TV one day, and I stumble upon a music video where a skinny geek in big glasses prancing around with ballerina girls. At first glance, it was quite disturbing, but I’m oddly drawn to it. Not because of the video, but because of the song playing in the video. The song goes ‘I’d rather dance than talk with you”, with a light acoustic and piano flair. The song is so simple, yet it manages to keep playing in my head. They are still pretty much obscure, but I know they are going to make it big one day. I’m a little worried though coz I haven’t heard much of them after the release of their 2^nd studio album, Riot On An Empty Street. I hope they come out with new materials soon. I can’t get enough of them. Trust me, once you get Riot On An Empty Street spinning in your CD player, you won’t be changing it with any other records.

Notable Singles: Misread, Toxic Girl, I’d Rather Dance With You, Know How

Albums: Quite Is The New Loud, Riot On An Empty Street

Sondre Lerche: My sister introduces me to this guy a few months back. At first listen, I thought he was a little generic. But after listening to some of his new materials, and also some of his previous offerings, I find this guy quite the musician. He is like Jason Mraz but without the funk. He’s more subdued, with folkish influence. One thing you need to know about him is most of his songs doesn’t make any sense, thanks to English is not his native tongue. An excerpt from one of his famous single, Two Way Monologue:

Ma

If it's worth the made up smiles, the quiet fights

Oh, mother

It is hard not to look in the mirror's eye

I have come to this while you have come along

So it's alright if you change your mind the other way around again

I shouldn't have to spell my name

When I first read that, I was like “What in the hell’s name is he trying to say here???” Even Aimee Mann is not this weird, and at least I understand her song. But with the great music he’s playing, you forgot that the lyric is nonsensical. Lerche is great with the acoustic guitar. Wish I could play guitar like him. And he is gaining stateside recognition as well from his collaboration and tour with the awesomeness Elvis Costello. Let’s not forget that he is married to a model, lucky bastard!

Notable Singles: Two Way Monologue, Sleep On Needles

Albums: Two Way Monologue, Duper Sessions, Phantom Punch (coming 2007)

A-ha: The name itself is self explanatory. If you don’t know A-ha by now, you should just kill yourself. Take On Me is the definitive pop song of the 80’s, and maybe, of all time. They are just too awesome for words. A-ha is to Norway like U2 is to Ireland. Yeah, they are that great.

Notable Singles: Take On Me, Summer Moved On, The Living Daylights

Albums: Hunting High And Low, East Of The Sun West Of The Moon, Minor Earth Major Sky (list not complete)

There you have it, your first lesson on Nordic acts. So, you still want to listen to “my babe got big ass, my babe got big boobs” you call music?

Anyway, back to Dr. Self-Righteous. You might think that his life is very much the version of “perfection” we aspire, what with all the supposedly “positive” things he has been teaching us. Perfect wife, perfect family, and the income security from all the self-help tapes and CDs he made. Well well well, I don’t think you guys have seen this yet. A quick browse at my favorite gossip forum, Cari (this place is da bomb! I love it!), I found this:

And to Dr. Self-Righteous, before trying to make other people’s life better, why don’t you look at the invisible pink elephant that is sitting in the middle of you living room. It’s not so invisible if you actually care. And please, do us all a favor and make sure she doesn’t go out looking like that anymore. You can make a difference, it can save our eyesight!!!

Phew, it has been quite a while since I’ve been this nasty, haven’t I? It’s a good feeling, trust me.

I just got the word today that one of my niece is a big fat pervert, and she’s 11! Her mobile just got confiscated by her mom when she found out that she’s been exchanging messages with one of her male classmate. And the messages could induce nose-bleed. This is not the first time she pulled something like this. Another niece of mine, who is a blabbermouth, told me that she also likes to role-play chat on a site called Gaia Online. I had to block that website on all the PCs we had or she would be chatting suggestively to god knows who. She could be chatting with a middle age pedophile for all I know.

She’s 11 for god’s sakes! When I was that age, the only thing that could turn me on is one of those bra ads in Avon catalogues. Even then I couldn’t understand why my penis got hard, which prompt me to ask my sister why my penis got hard everytime I look at the catalogues. And that in turn, makes my sister shriek in horror, ran to mother and tattle on me. Curiosity killed the cat, but in my case, it is quite interesting and doesn’t kill anything. But one thing for sure, I never ask my sister any more questions after that.

So, if you have a niece, or a younger sister, keep an eye on them. Trust no one. Oh, and that Gaia Online is trouble. Block that site before its too late.

I guess by now, you all should’ve heard about Asimo, Honda built robot that is supposedly going to exterminate all human in the near future and turn Earth into Asimo-land. But don’t fret coz it is not happening anytime soon as this little son of a bitch still haven’t perfected its stair climbing technique. I don’t even know why these people bother building this thing.

Next, they’re going to implement emotion into Asimo. I can already see Asimo shouting “Adoi! Adoi!” when falling down the stairs.

I’m already 23, and what have I done? All I do is bitch all day long and laze around in this rainy season. That’s ok. 2007 is upon us and I think my resolution for 2007 is to become like James Lee. I don’t know if I’m able to attain that 5 figure salary a month, but the sound of it is damn tantalizing. I can’t even imagine what I would do with that kind of money! Of course, LHDN will be all over my ass, but who gives a damn about those sons of bitches. All I care right now is I want to be rich! Money, money, money, money, money, MONEY!!! (cue The Apprentice theme song here)

Don’t you just wish that you are an heir, or heiress, like Hind Hariri or Paris Hilton? They party everyday, yet by the end of the day, they still have too much money to spend. And they don’t have to work! That’s the best part.

Damn, I am out of ideas! I have been writing rubbish on most of my previous posts. So, I am continuing my streak of useless post by writing about this new book I’ve just read. It’s a “young adult” book, mind you. That is my way of saying that I don’t read children’s books. Anyway, if you like reading and enjoy light literature, do check this out. It’s about RM30, cheaper than your average porn so it’s not time for you to be frugal.

Chasing Vermeer by Blue Balliett. In this art mystery, two sixth graders, Petra Andalee and Calder Pillay, are intertwined in the story by a series of unknown coincidences. These events continue, drawing them ever deeper into the theft of a Johannes Vermeer painting, A Lady Writing a Letter, en route from the National Gallery of Art (in Washington D.C.) to Chicago.

The mathematical puzzle known as the pentomino plays a great role in the book, as well as emphasizing the admittedly empty spaces in accounts of the Vermeer's life.

I stole this synopsis from Wikipedia, so sue me. I don’t have time to write my take on the book. All I know is, this book is too awesome for kids. And believe me when I say that they will have a hard time understanding the story. In the book, there will be many mysteries that you need to solve, and some of them are the in the illustrations done by Brett Helquist featured in the book. It’s very Da Vinci Code meets Agatha Christie.

DANIEL CRAIG is urging movie bosses to revolutionise the JAMES BOND franchise by including a gay scene involving the superspy in the follow-up to CASINO ROYALE. The heart-throb actor has also reportedly told studio chiefs he is prepared to film a full frontal nude scene to please both his male and female admirers. He says, "Why not? I think in this day and age, fans would have accepted it. "I mean, look at (British TV series) DOCTOR WHO - that has had gay scenes in it and no one blinks an eye." source: contactmusic

Sure, Brokeback Mountain pulled it off. In fact, it was one of the best romance movies I’ve ever watched in my life, albeit a gay one, but a gay scene in James Bond movie? I don’t think so! I hope he was on crack when he made that statement so that he can make a retraction. This is one crazy James Bond we have here and the Broccolis’ better be careful. I bet he got more weird stuff he would like to implement in the next James Bond movie.

Maybe next we can have an orgy scene, with M, Moneypenny & Q all lubed up in KY Jelly about to have hot raunchy sex with each other. I can already imagine Judi Dench all wet, sandwiched between Q and Moneypenny, having the weirdest threesome I could’ve ever imagined. And then, James Bond came in the next scene (in this case, it would be the flat faced platypus a.k.a. Daniel Craig) pulling out his “concealed weapon” from his pants and stuff Q’s face with it. Now that is a sure winner at the next Adult Video Network Award!

Now this is the kind of news that I like! Don’t you just wish that we can get good news like this everyday? You know what they say, justice will prevail. Oh man, how I wish I was the one squashing the rempit, what a great feeling that would’ve been. Every now and then, when I see those retarded rempits on the road, I just want to ram them with all my might. Of course, my face would be in every newspaper front page with this headline: “REMPITS KILLER NABBED” and I can already see my mum crying “I have no son! I have no son!” on the news.

One down, a few more to go. I know, one is hardly a number but one vermin less is not too bad eh? Let us pray so that we can say goodbye to the rempits forever.

p/s: what kind of parents named their kid Welldone?? That borders child abuse, no? But why the kid become a rempit is no longer a mystery I guess.