Don’t you think the bigots we have here in this world kinda ruin it for everybody? The one that we have here in Malaysia is particularly annoying. Their holier-than-thou attitude can make you vomit. They act like they are the holy grail of the society and everybody is wrong, except them. It is as if they are definitely sure that they’ll be getting into heaven.

One thing that irks me the most about bigots in Malaysia is they nitpick on every little detail, and try to find your mistakes even if it means digging into a wormhole. And trust me when I said that these bigots are not at all stupid. They have college degrees, they are tech savvies. Heck, some of them even have blogs! That’s how smart they are getting. But even with a smart mind, it can’t compensate the fact that they prefer to spew garbage instead of showing some kind of intellectuality.

I am sorry to burst your bubble there Mr. Bigot, but you people are exactly what is wrong with the society today. Please, if bigots don’t exist, the world would be a much better place to live in. At least we don’t have to constantly live in fear of suicide bombers, which is another kind of bigotry. But suicide bombers are not smart though. They are so stupid, it borders mental retardation. I was reading a diary of a suicide bomber in an Indonesian mag a few days back. It was found after his death (and you know how). My goodness, it is so sad, yet hilarious at the same time. I don’t know if I should pity him, or laugh at him. I am still wondering how these suicide bombers got the idea of 70 virgins in heaven. Can you imagine the conversation between a suicide bomber (SB) and God? In my mind, it goes something like this (p/s: SB can also be constituted as “son of a bitch”):

SB: Ok, I’m here God. Bring me the 70 virgins!

God: 70 virgins?? What the hell did you smoke before you get here?

SB: Nothing, just a few plastic C4 that I strap around my body. And I smoked the infidels! I smoke em’!

God: You’re trippin’ dude. You need to cut crack and weed out of your diet. And, you want 70 virgins you say?

SB: Yeah, that was what promised to me if I blow up the infidels.

God: What? When did I do that?

SB: Yeah, you said if we die a martyr, we get to live in paradise.

God: Yes, a martyr, a person who dies at war, trying to protect what they believe in. You, my imbecile friend, commit suicide.

SB: But I kill all the infidels!

God: Both logic and common sense is taking a serious hit today. Those people that you kill are innocents, not infidels. And dude, do you even read the Koran?

SB: Yeah, I memorize it.

God: Then do tell me, where did I mention that it is ok to kill unarmed innocent people?

SB: Nowhere.

God: Good! And now tell me, where in the Koran did I say it is ok to kill yourself?

SB: ……..nowhere.

God: Excellent! Last question. Now that you have kill yourself and a bunch of innocent people, do you still think you deserve that imaginary 70 virgins you’ve been lusting over?

SB: Nope.

God: Brilliant! Now, all I can promise you is 70 demons in hell, which is quite a bargain, since you done some pretty weird stuff from what I can see here. I mean, sex with camel? What is wrong with you?! NEXT!!

SB: Sob......sob……sob

New Guy: Ok, I want my 70 virgins now!

God: Oh man, not another one!

So Mr. Bigot, wherever you are, whoever you are, whatever you are. When you are questioning other people’s wrongdoing, let me ask you this question. Are you so pious, so devout, and so religious, that you are very very sure you’ll be getting a spot in heaven? Think about that the next time you are feeling high and mighty, ok?

Preview screening of Casino Royale was done few weeks back to a closed audience, and the reaction is mostly positive (thank god), although most of them agree that Daniel Craig is not James Bond, but he is a good actor.

And the theme tune for Casino Royale, “You Know My Name” (I know, lame isn’t it?) was leaked onto the internet a few days ago and fans reaction are mixed. Most of them loathed it, saying it doesn’t sound anything like the previous James Bond theme tune. I kinda hate it at first, but it grew on me. After a few listen, I find the track damn bitchin’ thanks to the awesomeness Chris Cornell.

Check out this link if you want to listen to the new theme tune.

One of my favorite pastimes is going thru my old photo albums, looking at my childhood pictures because it always brings back good memories. I mean, I was such a cute kid when I was growing up before becoming this ridiculously huge monster. Anyway, yesterday I found this album that I have not seen before in my life. It was filled with picture I’ve never seen before. And to my horror, I found a photo that will change the way I look at myself, forever.

I do not at all remember pulling an Amanda Lepore when I was a kid. With not a moment to spare, I went to my mum and demand an explanation.

“What the hell is this????”

“Oh, your brother thought it would be funny to put makeup on you, and he took the picture”

That asshole!

Ah well, since I’m already that vain, might as well go all the way. My parents were is KL the other day and I made them go to Watson’s at Midvalley Megamall to get me this new facial cleanser called Vichy. This French product is supposedly very good for acne prone skin. I never heard of it until Rajiv “Mirror” told me about it a few weeks ago and can’t seem to stop yapping about it. My dad is not at all happy with the fact that I sent him there especially to get me this cleanser. It was even worst when he saw the price tag. But hey, you want a handsome son, you gotta to sacrifice, right?

On the side note, my first re-invention project, and that is to lose weight, is well underway. But it’s a little slow. Since I’m going to start fasting on Sunday, I have to slow down my exercise regime (damn!). So, I’m bringing in the biggest weapon of them all, laxative! Yes, I’m going into desperate measure of taking laxative for the whole month of Ramadan. Don’t worry, it’s only for a month, and I will stop taking it once the fasting month is over. This is just to fasten the weight loss progress. I could take some weight loss supplement, but those fuckers at GNC are charging an arm, a leg, and two testicles for one of those supplements.

Oh, and have you visited my Yahoo! 360 link? Come on people! Show me some love! Visit my Yahoo! 360 site by clicking on the red link.

I’ve decided to revive my Yahoo! 360°, and put up all my fave photos there. I registered the account a few months back and abandon it ever since. Well, I guess its time I treasure all my favorite photos and post it online so other people can enjoy it. Kinda like a thank you, for spending time with me. So, when you visit my blog, don’t forget to visit my Yahoo! 360° photo blog. I’ll try to post as much photos as I can. And, if you have a Yahoo! 360° account, don’t forget to link it with mine.

I understand how Muslims all over the world were angered by the statements that the Pope made a few days ago about Prophet Muhammad PBUH. But have you seen the way this people actually react to it? It is so disgusting, I could vomit! I bet the Pope is going “See, I told you so!”

The burning, the chanting, the riot, it’s too much. What kind of Islam are they trying to show here? Hey, I’m not happy with the Pope either, but now that he said he’s deeply sorry, I guess there’s nothing left to do but to accept his apology. Remember Mehmet Ali Agca, the Turkish guy that tried to assassinate the previous Pope? The Pope forgave him, even after Agca managed to lodge two bullets into the Pope’s intestine. Forgiving each other, even forgiving one's enemies is one of the most important Islamic teaching.

More and more reasons why people all around the world hate the Muslims, sigh……

That my friend, is the title of my first book. The title was taken from the Malay proverb “Bulan Jatuh Ke Riba” (literal translation, Moon Fall On The Lap), which means “big gain” or “good luck”. I put a twist on it, Waiting For The Moon To Fall, and change the meaning to “hoping or wishing for something that is impossible to happen”. I know, nothing is impossible, but sometimes we have got to stop living a dream and realize that life is not all fairy tales.

Ok, let me introduce to you some of the characters that will be making their inaugural appearance in this book. Now, most of these characters are fictitious except for a few. Any resemblance to real person, living or dead is purely coincidental (yeah, like you guys are going to believe that):

Ari – Yours truly. The protagonist in this book.

Ma & Pa – Ari’s parents, and bestest best friends. They are like his advisor. Well, Ma is the advisor, and Pa is the person he goes to if he needs sarcastic comments or dirty jokes.

Sanjay – Ari’s best friend. A Hindi boy who thinks he’s God’s gift to the world. Has a pointy breast and in dilemma whether to remove it surgically or naturally. Vanity extraordinaire, goes to the toilet on average 4-5 times in an hour to check on his hair.

Abraham – A Malabar, originating from Pondicherry, India. Born and grew up in Malaysia. Was Ari’s close friend back in high school, but they drifted apart after he shows Ari his true color. Had a slight dent on his head from when his mother drops him on his head when he was a baby.

Munchkin – A half-Chinese, half-Malay midget. Slightly retarded from spending more than 9 months in his mother’s womb (12 months, to be exact). Abraham’s bestest best friend, they grew up together. He and Abraham are inseparable, they are always seen together, kinda like Dr. Evil & Mini-Me. Absolutely gullible and will believe anything Abraham tells him.

The Flower – The girl that stole Ari’s heart and never gave it back. (As an homage to Quentin Tarantino’s “The Bride”, I’m not using a name for this character).

Ok, that’s all I guess. There are more supporting characters actually, but I think if I give too much, there’s no point writing the book then. I am well halfway thru the first chapter. Hopefully I can finish it before the end of the year. Yes, the year. I’m not a robot, and I do have a life. And if you have friends that works in publishing, hint hint.

I was in the car yesterday with my mum, and as always, I talk about how sucky life is, and how companies still refused to reply to my fucking resumes. This is getting ridiculous, I may have overloaded the jobstreet’s server with my applications but still, nothing! And of course, being a mother she knows exactly what to say which kinda bring me back to earth:

“The problem with you is that you are so distant from God. Mama never sees you recite the Koran, and I don’t know if you actually perform your daily prayers. You already 23 and I can’t always be around to tell you what to do. You should realize that by now, whenever you want something, you have to give something back. The power of my prayer alone can’t help you, you have to prove and show to God that you’re diligent. Tell you what, why don’t you start fasting earlier? You fast, and you pray to God, ask for his help to get you a better job and a good life. God is fair you know, especially to His humble servant”

I have been slacking when it comes to my religion. God knows how thick my sins are, I need to thin it out. So, this is another re-invention project. I will make sure that my prayers are done, and that I will not sully the good name of my religion. Don’t worry you guys, I’m not turning into an extremist and blow myself up for the sake of getting 70 virgins in heaven, supposedly. I don’t get this old to be that stupid.

And I love my mum. She always knows what to say when I’m down. The problem with me is that I know my path, but it is so dark I don’t know where I’m going. I am so thankful that my mum is there to be the light and shine the path for me so that I don’t get lost in my own personal enigma.

Have you ever met a person that has this unhealthy obsession over their relatives? It is like every time you meet them, all they can talk about is my cousin this, my cousin that, it’s like enough! I am not very close to my relatives since most of them don’t live here in Malaysia. Even if they do, they are in different states. I swear to God, I’ll bet you guys would creamed your pants if I talk about some of my relatives, but there’s no need to brag, because its them, not me! As much as I like to talk about people behind their back, I rather talk about myself. I do agree with kimberlycun, narcissism is indeed necessary. I seriously don’t give a fuck what my relatives are up to. I know, we are connected by blood, et cetera, et cetera, so its important to keep the relationship intact, but come one, there’s no need to go around and tell people about them, how rich, how poor, how lame, how retarded or how crazy your relatives are. Yes, I have retarded and crazy relatives, literally, so go figure.

Another thing is the way they address their relatives. Like “cousin sister”. I mean, a “cousin sister” or “cousin brother” (or “cousin fucker”) is still considered cousin right? Why the need for a sister and brother there? They are still your cousin! I had a friend like this back in college, and once I snapped at him “Dude, I know that she is the sister to your cousin, but for the love of god, she is still your goddamn cousin!!”

I’ve been contemplating for a while now whether to go ahead with this or not. But last night I made up my mind, I am going to give up video games once and for all. I realized that video games no longer excite me like it used to. Maybe I’m getting too old for it, I don’t know, but all I know is that video games no longer a hobby that can make me happy. Managed to sell off my Xbox a few months back, hopefully I can sell my PS2 and make someone else happy.

Actually, I cant believe it myself that I am ready to abandon video games just like that, seeing how I was so gung ho about video games, once I didn’t talk to my mum for a month coz she refused to send me to this video game university in Scotland. Video game has been a very big part in my life. I started in primary school, when my mum bought me my very first video game console, the Micro Genius. It was one of the happiest times in my life. And from then onwards, I can’t stop. From Micro Genius, Super Nintendo, Sega Saturn, Sony Playstation, Nintendo 64, Sega Dreamcast, Sony Playstation2 and then finally, the Microsoft Xbox. I had it all. Fast forward 15 years later, here I am, no longer interested in video games. It is sad, but I am so ready to do this.

Goodbye my Playstation2, I will not be missing you, but thank you for all the great times we had together and I will cherish that forever. (God, that is so corny, angels must be laughing at me right now). It’s easy to let go, but I will never forget.

I guess you guys are wondering what the hell I am talking about. On Saturday, I went to the cinema to catch the latest thriller called Half Light, staring the ever so lovely (thanks to plastic surgery I bet) Demi Moore. Great movie by the way, go catch it while it is still playing at the cinema near you. Anyway, Demi’s character in the film is a writer. That gave me an idea, maybe I should write. I mean, I’ve had this blog for almost a year now, and I have so many stories to tell. So, it is decided. For my next re-invention, I am going to write a book. I’ve already setup my workstation, complete with post-it notes and placard cards. My first book is going to be a romance dramedy and I even came up with the title of the book, but I won’t be revealing it now. Soon perhaps, and you guys would be the first one to know. Now, before you guys mock me and say things like I am wasting my time, bla bla bla, at least I am doing something. I’m not trying to get published or anything, but God works in a very mysterious way. Even J.K. Rowling starts from the bottom, and look at where she is now.

And speaking about Tolstoy, I have got to finish reading Anna Karenina. This book is seriously taking its toll on my life. It is so complicated, I get headache just by looking at the cover. But I already paid good money for it (thanks to Oprah’s Book Club, that bitch!), might as well finish it. I may need help though. I heard there’s an online discussion group that talks about the book, maybe I should check it out. Any of you guys actually manage to finish this book?

I wonder if my sperm can produce cute babies like this one.

1) Go into paranoid mode

2) Keep hoping that it will happen

3) Move on with my life

I think the choice is pretty clear here. The wisest and sanest choice would be the 3^rd one. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be, you know? Why should I wait for something that is never going to happen? I know, I know, I’m being negative, bla bla bla, but I do have a life and I am not getting any younger. The only way this can happen, miracle or divine intervention, and I’m pretty sure both are very busy right now. I don’t know, maybe God has someone else for me, someone better (or worse, no one!) but He knows what’s best for me and I trust Him.

Back to the topic of re-inventing myself. Today I had a pretty good workout, some cardio, a little abs exercise on that machine my mum got me. I tell you, that machine is quite awesome. It works not only on the abs, but also on the chest and your arms. Mine is pretty much sore right now. Since its already night, the only solid foods I consume are eggs (white only) and the rest is pretty much liquid (protein shake with oats, yuck!). And I need something sweet just now, so I thought I make myself I glass of fruit juice, but I only thing I can find in the fridge are green apples. Then something caught my eyes, a bundle of wilted celery my maid got few weeks back but didn’t use. I remember seeing this infomercial where they juice veggies. Hehe, since I’m being crazy with this diet, why don’t I try something crazy too. The result was amazing. No, seriously, celery and green apples juice taste great. You guys should try it if you don’t believe me.

I still haven’t planned out what I’m going to do next with my re-invention project. Yes people, my body is not the only thing I’m re-inventing right now, but the whole Ari Miraj. Don’t worry, my super judgmental personality, sarcastic quips and narcissism are still intact, and that is not about to change. It’s just that I need to equip myself with skills, with something that can make people go “What the fuck, are you crazy?!”

Oh man, I am beat! I’ll shout out to you guys later and do visit always. And to my regular visitors, can you please do something about my traffic? Tell anybody you know about my site, make me famous!

Primary objective: Lose weight!

Checklist:

Treadmill, check!

Ab….something something, check!

Dumbbell, check!

…………..whatever this is, check!

Stepper, check!

Supplements, check!

Protein, Milk, and the gang, check!

It takes time and patience to make it all happen but I am so ready. Bring it on! And if it doesn’t work, I can always do what the Hollywood people have been doing all these years:

Purging rawks!

Its 12.30am and I was about ready to go to bed when my phone started ringing. It’s a message and I always anticipate a late message like this because it’s always from her. She loves to text me late at night, which I don’t really mind since there is no interruption and we can write to our heart content. When we talk, we tend to say stupid things, while messaging, you can think before you make an ass out of yourself. It was all well, until she sent me this message:

Ari, do you like me?

I froze. This message is staring at me right in the face and I don’t know how to response to it. The freezing air-conditioner is not helping either. I stared blankly at the ceiling for a while, thinking, contemplating, and replied the message with my answer. And she didn’t reply back.

I entered panic mode, and got an asthma attack at 3am in the morning, which I haven’t had for the last 6 years. And yes, I haven’t been able to sleep yet.

Asia Pacific

Miss Australia – Sabrina Houssami

Look at that eyes, how can you not love her?

Miss PR China – Duo Liu

Love her heart shaped face, and her eyes are classic.

Miss Mongolia – Selenge Erdene-Ochir

Her face is very unique, and her smile is lovely.

Northern Europe

Miss Denmark – Sandra Nanna Spohr

Loving her eye color and her face. Oh, and very cute.

Miss Germany – Edita Orascanin

She’s gorgeous. I mean look at her!

Miss Russia – Aleksandra Mazur

Russia never fails to amaze me with their cute looking girls.

Southern Europe

Miss Bulgaria – Slavena Vatova

Another gorgeous girl. She looks like Rachel Weisz a little bit.

Miss Croatia – Ivana Ergic

Totally digging her tomboy-ish look and hairdo.

Miss Lebanon – Annabella Hilal

I love love love that cute face of hers.

Americas

Miss Chile – Costanza Silva

And just like our Chili, she is very hot!

Miss Mexico – Karla Jimenez

She looks like Elizabeth Hurley, and that is why I love her

Miss Uruguay – Marlene Valeria

Cute and pretty, love her smile.

Africa

Miss Namibia – Anna Svetlana Nashandi

Her face is very beautiful, and her model-like body is amazing. She could do runway.

Miss Nigeria – Abiola Bashorun

She is so cute! I love her so much, very pretty.

Miss Angola – Stiviandra Oliveira

Another cute girl from Africa. I like her face.

Caribbean

Miss Dominican Republic – Paola Torres Cohen

Look at the gorgeous face.

Miss Martinique – Stephanie Colosse

I don’t know where this country is, but oh my god she is so hot!

Miss Puerto Rico – Thebyam Carrion Alvarez

This is what Miss Puerto Rico should look like, not like the current Miss Universe.

So, what do you think of my choices? Can any of these girls take the coveted title of Miss World? The choice is in your hand. If you checkout the official Miss World website: http://www.missworld.tv, you can actually vote for any of these girls using your cellphone. Visit the website to look at other contestants and see how you can do your part by voting.