I’ve been sending out God knows how many resumes to various organizations, but I never get a single reply from any of them. I told this to my friend, and he asked me “Did you send in your photo?” and I said “Yeah, they asked for it”. And he said “That’s the problem”.

So, that’s it? They hire people based on their look? I don’t want to believe this, but I guess there is some truth in that. I think they should stop asking for people’s photo to be attached to the resume, to protect us from double standard, don’t you agree? It is so insulting knowing that somewhere out there, people are looking at my resume while judging the photo that is attached to it. “Eeeeeee, look at this fat guy, trying to get a job in our company.”

I don’t really mind that they don’t want me in their company because they think I’m ugly, but at least they could reply to my application. I don’t know what the policy is when it comes to this, but I want verification that they actually received my application.

Thank you for your interest in our company Mr. Ari. We have received your application and unfortunately, we don’t hire fat and ugly people. If you can lose a lot of weight, act himbo-ish and reduce your IQ by 50-100 points, that would be great. Maybe then we can consider hiring you. But for now, you belong in places where people can’t see you.

Regards,

Skinny Bitch.

So, were still on with the “Vision 2020” are we? Let see what we have done this year to achieve that:

Mawi & Ina Scandal

Look, I don’t have any problem with this 2 person. In fact, I’m very much proud of Mawi because he’s from Johor. But what is up with people wanting to know about their private lives? Ok, so they engagement broke off, big whoop! Even married couples that have been married for 20, 30 year can get divorce. They even got them their own private show yesterday night, and my family being a sucker for this kind of showdown, actually sat thru 2 hours of bullshit.

Siti Nurhaliza & Moustache Wedding

Good for him, really. She can do better than that, but it looks like the moustache is very hard to resist. Every newspaper in Malaysia is filled with their photos, stories of the extravagant wedding. One TV station actually called it the most important event to happen this year. Most important event?? Are you kidding me with this? What about the war? What about people dying in war? What about the poor, homeless people? Seriously people, you need to sort out your priorities. Don’t let superficiality get to your head and damage every single cell in there.

Tun Mahathir & Pak Lah Fighting Over A Bridge

I want the bridge! No I don’t want the bridge! God, it’s like watching two mongoloids fighting over a lollipop. I don’t even want to go into details, since everyone should know about this matter. And all of it is because of one lousy bridge, which I think have no purpose but at all.

Still think we can achieve “Vision 2020” with this kind of mentality?

Anyway, check out what my parents got me!!!!!

Ok, so it’s not for me per-se, but I am the one that beg them to change that lame 50” projection TV into something more futuristic. My parents decided to embrace the technology, and got this 40” Bravia-V LCD TV. Remember, if you can’t fight them, join them!

Oh, what happen to that old 50 inchers you say? Well, since everyone in the house has got their own TV, I decided to put it in my room, where it is taking all the good spaces. Not too shabby eh, a fat TV for a fat guy.

Xbox 360, PS3, Nintendo Wii? Bring ‘em! I am so ready for next-gen.

The first one was the photo that I took recently, and the first match was extremely insulting. Collina?! COLLINA!!!??? Ok, so he’s the best referee ever, but I do not look like him! But Dave Navarro and Andy Roddick are in the list, and that is enough for me to believe that there is a God. Chester Bennington also made it, which is not bad, although I think the glass was a dead giveaway.

The third and last photo is my personal favorite. Andy Roddick made it into the list again. See, further proof that I am actually handsome. Takeshi Kaneshiro, Jericho Rosales, not bad not bad. Jacky Onassis? Burt Reynolds??? P. Diddy??????????

If you guys would like to have your own celebrity collage, you can visit myHeritage.

Shit shit shit!!! Ok, I might’ve done what seems to be the biggest screw-up in my life, I may have told her that I like her. Goddammit, why can’t I just shut my trap and let the feeling die inside of me??!! I am so fucked right now because she has yet to reply me. It looks like I may have to leave the country as soon as possible. I don’t think I can be in the same room with her from now onwards. It will be one of those awkward situations where you wish you were dead or something. You know, at times like this, wouldn’t it be nice if Doraemon is actually real? Damn those Japanese and their fantasy world!

Speaking about leaving the country, I received more signs in the mail telling me that I should start fresh in another country. What do you think, should I do it? If I don’t get any good job that fits me by the end of September, I am going to send out much too many application forms.

Some of the courses are quite reasonable, it is so tempting! How cool would it be, living in one of the best fashion capital in the world, the one and only NYC. What do you think, can I become next big thing? Can I become the next:

Louis Vuitton

Yves Saint-Laurent

Christian Dior

Or just Ari Miraj, that sweaty, cheap, fat asshole that buy his clothes from Reject Shop and Factory Outlet Store (F.O.S.)?

On Sunday, I went to this study done by Grey World Wide. They are looking for Malay guys to do some research and background study of what we think about Malaysia. I for one am proud to be a Malaysian, even though my background is not from Malaysia. I am proud that I look like a Chinese, I am proud to tell people that my parents are Indonesian, I am proud to tell people that I come from Johor, I am proud that I am able to tell people that I am a Malay guy.

But the other idiots that they got for this study are seriously fucked up, save it for one or two of them. One question that they asked us, what we feel about racial issues. To me, I have no issues at all. My friends are all multi-racial. I was born in a family that doesn’t care about another person’s race. My parents for instance, when they first came to Malaysia, their best friends are Chinese people. So I don’t see the point in choosing friends based on their race, or being in a clique of the same people. You guys must’ve seen a group of people from the same race walking around like they are the shiz, the roxor! To me, they are just sad people. Sad people who don’t appreciate the cultural diversity we have here in Malaysia.

Back to the idiots I mentioned before. Ok, so one of them said that racial tension is a must, because you never know when you have to fight. Why fight? Why can’t you settle it like a normal human being, in peace, without the hostility and violence? Remember, I’ve said this many times, that our brain is not there for decoration. God gave us such a complex organ so that we can think. Think rationally, think smart, think like sane person. If every person on earth has the same mentality, where everything has to end up in violence, we might as well end our life right here, right now.

Then came the topic that I love to hate, the “Bumiputra law”. Of course, I didn’t tell them that I don’t have the same privilege since my parents are Indonesian, but they seem to think that it should be retained forever. I’ve always thought that this “Bumiputra law” is good, to help the Malays. But don’t you think they should slowly phase it out? If other race can do it, why can’t the Malays? Why can’t we stand on our own two feet without a platinum spoon stuck in our ass? And what about the other race, don’t they deserve the same treatment? What makes them so different from us? They’re human too, they eat, they drink, they piss, they shit, they work, they learn, they walk, they run, they smile, they cry, they laugh, et cetera. The only difference we have, skin color. It’s not their fault that they are born into a different ethnic group, and it is definitely not a crime, so why should they be punished? To me, it is a veiled racism.

What do you think? Am I right? Am I wrong? Hey, everyone have their own opinion, and this is mine. It may be harsh, but we have been talking about unfairness for so long now, and still nothing is done to break the stereotype. So much for the “Malaysia, Truly Asia” huh?

I came home yesterday night from work, wondering if I had done the right thing accepting this job. My head was pounding, my body felt shiverish, I am totally beat. It’s not that I can’t do the job. In fact, I was good at it, I got a compliment from my supervisor yesterday. She told me that for a newbie, my performance is quite good. But the problem is, I had a good thinking last night and made this conclusion, I hate this job.

I’m on MC today. No reason, I’m not even sick. I just don’t want to be in that office today. I want to do something else, I want to realize my dream. I know that for now, it is still a dream, but I don’t want to know that I didn’t try. In an era where jobless people kill for a job, being choosy is not a choice, but I can’t help it. Why should I be the one to sacrifice? Why must I sit 8 hours a day, with a headset on my head, in front of a computer screen with no internet connection, getting shouted by customers and supervisors monitor you like vultures? It’s like being in a sweatshop, or a reality TV show, and it’s not even funny. I met people that love their job, and how I wish I could be like them.

And before you think that I’m money minded, let me clarify this by saying that the pay is good. For someone who experience includes sleeping 17 hours a day and eating for the rest of the hours, the pay is quite outrageous really. And it’s not about the stress either. I can handle stress. My mother nags me everyday, I’m immune to stress. If customers shouted at me, I just imagine them doing it naked, and I smile. Like I said, the reason, and the only reason why I want to leave is because I hate this job. It’s not even my line, even if having this bank name in my resume would mean my future is good.

Should I stay, or leave?

Working in an office, it is inevitable that you will meet with an office bitch. If you’re lucky, you meet more than one. In my case, it’s more than one. It’s only my third day on the platform and I already hating more people than I should. I really am trying to suppress this feeling of hatred in myself. If possible, I want to like everybody. I am fortunate that I my training batch was some of the best people I’ve ever met, and my trainer and mentor is just too awesome for words. The seniors however, are pricklier than the biggest cactus in the world.

There’s this one chick, lets call her “shit”, because that’s what I think she should’ve been. Very pretty, totally out of my league, looks very friendly at first sight, but once you know her, she’s bitchier than rottweiler. It’s not like I’m asking her to like me or be my friend, but yesterday I need her help regarding a customer. All I want is a polite reply, even if she can’t help me. What she did was she looked at me straight in the face, with holier-than-thou face expression, and said “Ask someone else, I’m off duty”. If I had followed my original instinct, the sentence that would come out of my mouth would be “FUCK YOU!” but I think it’s too early for me to get fired, or sexual harassment lawsuit. But that seriously pissed me off. She could’ve said “I’m sorry, I’m off duty right now, could you please get someone else to assist you?” But no, she had to be rude. This type of people, they will go nowhere. Common courtesy = ZILCH. Good “luck” to her future husband coz he’ll need it.

And there’s this bitch. She is supposed to be a tier 2 manager or something. Not so pretty. In fact, she is so ugly, it borders mongoloid. Even mongoloid people would be insulted to be compared to her. She has this annoying thing where she tries to act cute all the time. Multicolored contact lenses with matching outfits, and her stupid stuffed animal slipper. The problem I got from her is exactly the same as above, she was off duty and I was about to ask her a question. One bloody simple question where she can answer it within 30 seconds, yet she refused. Now, since she is so ugly, I thought “FUCK YOU!” would be inappropriate, but I did have the impulse to take one of her stuffed animal slipper and shove it up her ass.

Meeting this two people, I wonder if the age of courteous and polite people is over. Hey, I’m not saying that I’m that nice either, but there’s not reason for me to act all shitty when people ask me nicely for help. My only hope now is that I don’t have to cross path with the two shitface mentioned above. There’s more shitty people in this office, I will tell you about them later.

I had a very meaningful conversation with a friend the other night, and it was about prostitutes. Now, before you roll your eyes and turn away, it was not that “kind” of conversation. It’s more like trying to understand them, and also the people that actually go for prostitutes. Why is that so? This question is for guys (or girls, if there’s any) that tried prostitutes service before.

A close friend of mine, lets call him “Abraham”, once told another friend of mine that he actually tried prostitutes, or as he like to call it, “main perempuan” (ok, I don’t know how to translate this to English, but loosely translated, “play with women”). He didn’t actually tell me because he knows that I will totally judge him, because that is what I do to people like him. When I was in KL, the bus I took everyday passes a road called “Lorong Haji Taib”, which is most famous red light district in KL. And at night, I can see girls walking along the road looking for “customers”. And whenever I see this, a pang of pity hit me. I want to get down and ask them, “What happen? Why are you like this?” This could be someone’s mother, or sister, or nieces, or daughter. And my mind would wander to my family back at home in JB. My mother, sisters, nieces and female family relatives and friends, and I pray to God, please protect them.

But to cast a kind of negativity at prostitutes, to judge them, it is not our place. We don’t know how they become prostitutes in the first place. It could be that the came from a broken home, or they are lonely, or they just want to have fun, or they were sold by their family, or they were raped when they were young, or they were forced into prostitution. There are so many explanations, yet no one seems to care. I care, but what can I do? I may be the kind of guy that thinks of himself most of the time, but I really wish I have the power to bring these girls back to the right path. Alas, I’m just a normal guy and all I can do is hope. Hope that someone, somebody, anybody, will help these girls.

What about the people that uses prostitutes? Should we pity them? Should we judge them? Yes and yes, for their act of desperation and also for the lack of better judgment. Like this “Abraham” guy I mentioned, whenever I see him now, all I can see is a desperate guy, a guy that uses prostitutes. When I first met him back in 1997, I thought he was a good guy, a tall, outgoing guy with a strict religious upbringing. He finishes his religious studies when I stranded at standard 3. Again, the pang of pity hit me. What happen to him? What drove him into such desperate act? I want to ask him, but I know the answer I will get is “I just want to try” because I got the exact same answer when I asked him why he started smoking. And I will always wonder what goes through his mind when he is with a prostitute. Pleasure? Guilty? I’ll never know. And I do hope that one day he realizes what he had done is wrong and stop doing it.

I’m young and single, I could’ve gone to a prostitute, but I won’t. Scared? Yes, I’m scared. I’m scared of the consequences, scared of the diseases that I might get, scared of what God have in store for me when I die. Pity? Yes, I pity the girl I could’ve done. It could be someone I know, it could be a family. I know I’m a failure when it comes to relationship, and there’s a chance that I will never get married and never get the pleasure of being with a woman, but I rather die a virgin and alone than doing the unthinkable.

Saturday is car wash day. I took my car to my favorite car wash for some squeaky clean fun time. Those guys are the best. In the world where everything is expensive, they still charge only RM8 per wash. That is inclusive of all the vacuuming and taking out all the trashes that I don’t have the energy to do myself. Well, not energy, more like lazy.

Today though, was eventful. When I reach the car wash place, a prissy old bastard, with his luxury SUV was actually scolding my favorite guys for not doing their job right. His exact words were “If you wash like this ha, nobody will come here anymore”. You ungrateful son of a bitch! What does he expect from an RM8 car wash, a full grooming service for his car? Like I said before, those guys are the best. On weekends, you have to queue to get a spot for the car wash and the queue could go as long as 30 minutes. And to see this guy complaining like there’s no tomorrow really pisses me off. He tried to come up with conversation with me a few times but I make sure that I don’t look at him directly in the face. I don’t make friends with assholes, that’s for sure. And you can take your stupid self and your ill-gotten luxury SUV someplace else. Better yet, why don’t you do us all a favor by driving into a lorry that is carrying concrete.

When those car washer guys were drying his car, he actually go around the car like a vulture looking for prey, holding a piece of cloth to wipe the car himself. What an idiot, might as well wash it yourself! The best thing about sending your car to a car wash is that you don’t have to do it yourself, but this imbecile found out that it is extremely rewarding to wipe the car in the hot scorching weather. Maybe his idiotic or just plain retarded, I don’t know, but I hope I don’t see him there in the near future.

Skeletal girls with thick makeup
The bones are protruding in every way imaginable, but they always manage to have their pouty lips bright red, and their eyes purple.

People wearing caps and sunglasses inside a building
What are they trying to protect themselves from, neon lights?

Small cars acting like Ferraris
You guys may have encountered this on the street before, a guy in an overly modified Kancil trying to pull a Schumacher. You should pity this kind of people.

Girls with hairy legs wearing miniskirt
We invented the shaving blade and the shaving cream. And now we even have that bladeless solution, Veet. What more do you want!?

Fashion victims
You may have seen this one as well. They usually like to hangout at bus stations or the shopping complexes. Very easy to spot, they look like the cast from “The Nightmare Before Christmas”

Crying babies in movie theater
Obi Wan was about to kick the crap out of Anakin and all of the sudden a baby starts to cry. What the fuck?

The movie draught is back. Damn you Hollywood! In the end I just have to settle with the next best thing, The Break-Up, a romantic comedy starring one of the most “it” couple in Hollywood right now, Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. This is one of the many Jennifer Aniston’s post-Friends movie, and I have to say, the best yet.

Gary and Brooke live together. They have it all, and they are happy. But Gary’s ego is much bigger than his brain, their relationship took a tumble. But the problem turn to worst when they shared the money to buy the apartment they live in. Like it or not, they still have to live together. Brooke is still in love with Gary, hoping that he would change, but Gary’s childish antics are getting on Brooke’s nerve. Two can play at this game, so Brooke brought home some guys to make Gary jealous. Not wanting to loose out, Gary planned out things that is out of Brooke’s control. In the end, they just can’t stand each others behavior anymore and decided to sell the apartment. That is when Gary realizes that the relationship is very important for him and also Brooke.

The movie is surprisingly poignant. I just love Jennifer Aniston in this movie. She managed to shed the “Rachel” image and bring Brookes character to life. She’s getting a little too old though, can see it in her face. And very very skinny, not my kind of girl. I love her during the first 5 seasons of Friends, then she was sucked into the Hollywood dieting fad, it’s not even funny anymore. Not a big fan of Vince Vaughn though, I find his acting bland. He’s the same in every character I’ve seen him in, brute and loud. The best character in the movie would be John Favreau’s Johnny O. He’s a bartender, Gary’s best friend. He’s always coming up with stupid and radical ideas, kinda remind me one of my friend. Story was not great, but acceptable. It’s a romantic comedy, can’t expect much, can I? I love the ending. Won’t spoil it for you guys, but it’s not your usual happy ending, but still happy. It’s hard to explain, or maybe you guys may already have the idea.

With sucky films playing in cinemas, The Break-Up definitely worth the RM11 I spent. You love romance, you love comedy, you will love this movie. The run is going to end soon, so you better catch it while you still can.

What is up with girls treating guys like ball? You pick us up when you have problems, but you kick us right in the nuts when you don’t. What the hell is that? I am getting sick and tired of waiting, giving me all the wrong signals. Seriously, I can’t take it anymore. For weeks, I’ve been there, listening to her problems and stories, yet she can’t stop talking about her previous relationship. Let me ask you guys out there, how would you feel when a girl you like kept talking about how their previous boyfriends? How they are tall, dark and handsome? What are they trying to prove here? Fine, I get it, I’m dorky and ugly. I can take it, just say it to my face. I don’t need the bullshits and the saccharine laden words. Just stop playing games with me. Why did you text me in the first place? Why did you confide in me with you problems? A guy you barely knew.

I’ve been nothing but nice. All this feelings, if I could block it out, I would. Truthfully, I don’t like all this feelings. I rather be dead inside then let people treat me like a pinball machine. Ever since I met her, I don’t even know myself anymore. I’m a whole different person. Gone is my outgoing and fun persona. My sarcastic quip, gone. That is it, I am done being nice. From now onwards, I’m going to concentrate on how to make my life better. I don’t need a girl wrecking my future.

We had a late briefing on some stupid shit at the office today. Some anorexic middle age woman made us stay back for a good 1 hour to hear out this new service we are providing to customers. Truthfully, customer is better off not knowing about this service since it means that we as officers need to know more things. Callbacks were not as productive as yesterday, but as a group, I think my batch is the most independent group around. We are getting praises from seniors, which was very flattering. But all that doesn’t matter anymore, because today was the day that I actually spend time the girl I like. I send her back home!

Here’s the story. After the briefing, she asked me if I want to join her and another of our colleague for a drink at McDonalds. Being the desperate guy that I am, I took up the offer and we sat there for more than 1 hour, chit chatting, exchanging stories, gossiping, etc. It was 8.30pm before we decided to bid au revoir to each other. Then come the part where I took the risk and ask her if she wants me to send her back home. I swear to God, my heart was racing so fast, Michael Schumacher may not be able to catch up because I knew, if she said “NO”, there goes my chance. A girl to reject a ride home is as good as a girl rejecting you head on. Fortunately, she said yes! It was a fun ride. Finally, I had a girl in my car who is neither a relative nor my mum. Again, we tell stories, mostly about relationship. Mine was mostly as bland as an insignificant piece of bread, but hers was rather interesting, it kinda scare me a little bit. I won’t go into many details, but she dated a lot before. Then this little person inside of me, the one that is scared of commitment, started to cry for help.

I am going to need a therapist to get thru this. Why why why, why am I scared of commitment? What the hell is wrong with me? I blame my parents!

Since my dad work all the time and my brother being in other state finishing his studies, I grew up mostly with my sisters and my mum. So I thought out of all the guys I know, I may be the one that understand girls the most. But unfortunately, girls still manage to left me stumped. Seriously, what is up with you girls? Help us understand you, please!

I was having a great time at work. Trainer paired me with the girl I like, so it was heaven on earth. And we’ve been flirting front and back, at work and also using the best invention since Viagra, the mobile phone. The fact that she started to confide in me with her problems make me feel special. Out of all the people she could’ve contacted, she always text me with nice messages, asking me for help or suggestions, the guy that she knew like what, 4 weeks?

Ok, now comes the real problem. She can’t seem to forget her last boyfriend, the imbecile that she left a year ago because he cheated on her. She actually called him, telling her the problem she is facing. Why in the world would you contact your X when you have problems? And you know what, that retard actually have the nerve to sound sarcastic on the phone. See, this is why you should never contact your X when you have problems because no matter what, they will always have reason to make you feel bad. She has my number, she could’ve called me instead. I’m a very good listener. I understand, they went out for 4 years, bla bla bla, but there’s a reason why people move on, so you won’t get yourself hurt.

I never look back. I never regret anything that happens in my life because I take that as a lesson for me to brave the future. And neither should she, or anyone else for that matter.