The Mother Of Crap: April 2006

Prematurely Deserted Thursday, April 27, 2006 |

Sorry for the lack of updates. My life is pretty boring, so there’s nothing interesting to write about. I’m jobless (as always) so I can’t really bitch about the sucky “co-worker” like other people. I don’t party all that much (actually, not at all) so I can’t write about me going to a party and getting wasted or laid or something like that. The most interesting things that happened to me in the last couple of days is that I went to the cinema and watch that ultra sucky movie Ultraviolet (not even worth talking about here, so just stay away from it).

Right now, I’m in the process of updating this website’s color scheme and layout. The blue color is just isn’t working. It looks pretty lame after a while. Kinda miss the old brown and dark green setting. My new color layout will be very moody, very dark, but with a lighter side. You just have to wait for it.

Being free doesn’t mean that I can just slag off and wank anytime I want. I do fill my head with good books. Right now, I’m in the middle of The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. Amazing read, you assholes out there should read it, instead of looking at porn (look who’s talking). As always, good books never go unnoticed. Those Hollywood capitalist bastards have already prepped some of their best men to turn this book into a film. Marc Forster (Finding Neverland, Monster’s Ball) is helming the flick so it should be good.

Oh, I also found this amazing show from Britain called, wait for it, Little Britain. Absolutely hilarious, it’s a must for comedy fans. You can find it any pirated DVD shops out there, so don’t be such a cheapskate. You guys who always jerk off to the little girls anime, you guys need a change of pace and Little Britain is a good place to start. They have great characters in the show, from Vicky Pollard, a chav delinquent, to Dafydd Thomas, the only gay in the village of Llandewi Breffi (a small village in Wales). Oh, if you guys are easily offended, do not watch this show because it is definitely not for that sensitive little prick like you guys. It makes fun of black people, the Chinese, the Indian, and even Nation of Islam is not spared from their jokes.

This is probably my last post for April, so see you guys next month (which is only a few days away). And you fuckers out there who visited this site, could you at least recommend it to some of your friends or something? This site is deserted, at least give it some traffic. Don’t make me do the unthinkable like post a naked pictures of me or something because you do not want to see me naked (unless you need the nightmares). Ok, tata!

Gubra (Anxiety) Monday, April 17, 2006 |

The last Malay film that I watched on the big screen was “I Know What You Did Last Raya” which was about a year ago. And the only reason I watch the movie is because I got duped into watching it (damn you Ibrahim, may you burn in hell!). A few days ago, I went to the new TGV cinema in JB to watch the new film by Yasmin Ahmad, Gubra. For you who have been living under the rock, Gubra is the sequel of Sepet, one of Yasmin Ahmad’s best works. I have been anticipating the release of Gubra for a while now and it was quite exciting to finally watch it.

The film is divided into 2 stories. The first story is the story of Orked, who is now married to older Malay guy (her Chinese boyfriend died in Sepet, vehicular accident). The second story is about a Malay Imam who lives next to a couple of Malay prostitutes. I will not spoil it anymore here, but the story is just amazing. The way Yasmin Ahmad weave the story from one frame to another is just top notch. I wonder why Malaysia doesn’t have more film like this as we have quite a number of talented filmmaker. What I like about Gubra is that it’s not pretentious. There’s no rich person, there’s no Mercedes-Benz car (although if I’m not mistaken, I saw an old Jaguar in the film), and no “I just came back from so-and-so-countries for holiday/study”. And the film features a multiracial cast, which is great. I love the harmony in the film. Some people have been criticizing about the introduction of the 2 Malay prostitutes in the film which in my opinion is not something to shout about.

I am not good at reviewing the technical side of the film. All I can say is that you have got to see this film, stat. It’s the only real reason why you should watch a local film in cinema, because it was that good. Yasmin Ahmad is a genius, cant wait for her next film.

P/s: when I went for the screening of Gubra, the screen was empty. Only a few seats were filled. I guess filmgoer prefer the utter rubbish “Bujang Senang” instead.

Reminiscing In Port Dickson - Part Un Sunday, April 09, 2006 |

Port Dickson is where it all started. When my parents first came to Malaysia, right after my dad finished his service with the Malaysian government, they decided to settle down in Port Dickson. To commemorate that occasion, we decided to drive up to Port Dickson. Well, that is not the primary reason actually. My mum had to meet up with someone there to settle some business but what the hell, let’s make it a holiday as well. We stayed at Kemang Indah Resort in Teluk Kemang. Resort my ass! The place looks like a crackwhore den! It is one of the worst places we’ve ever stayed in. If I was the tourism minister, I would close this place down. The unit got 2 rooms and a bathroom. The rooms are equipped with air-conditioner from the pre-war era (it’s really old), and the one in my room sounded like the M16 machine gun! I have to turn it off before I go to sleep or I won’t get any sleep at all. Click the video to experience it yourself and believe me, it is much louder in real life.

At night, we visited my parent’s BFF (Best Friend Forever) in Kg Paya. They got to reminiscing about the old days before the conversation turns into the topic that scared the bejeezus out of me, who among them that are still alive and who is dead. Seriously, don’t they have anything better to talk about? I can’t picture myself in the future talking about the exact same thing with my friends. Why they need to have this conversation is beyond me. After the eventful meeting, we went for a late dinner at A-ONE PLACE. It didn’t exactly “tickle your taste-buds” but the food is quite good, and cheap. Love the way they decorate the restaurant, very old fashion.

The next day, we had an early breakfast at an Indian restaurant. Then, we drive to this place called Seaview Garden, an old housing area where my parents had stayed before in the late 70’s, early 80’s. The picture below is my parent’s old house, and the surrounding area. We don’t have a lot of money back then, but this place gave my parents much joy. I also learnt something about my dad and his hobbies back then, which some of them, I do not dare speak its name. He loves dancing at clubs with my mum (oh god), he had a bunch of Chinese female friends whom he played Mahjong with (wtf?!), and he loves the lottery (you know, those lucky numbers). After recollecting all the memories, we decided to go back to the “resort”. Since our “resort”, for the lack of a better word, suck ass, we decided to freeload at the nearby good resort. Our victim, Corus Paradise Resort. Now this is what a resort should look like. We are not that cheap you know, so we ordered something from the restaurant. I ordered a super cliché ice-cream, the banana split, and my mum ordered the RM15 “Ice Kacang”. We are at a good resort, so I thought the ultra-ridiculous price is normal. When the waitress came with the “Ice Kacang”, we were of course now understood why it is RM15, it was served in a vase! It’s really huge! Totally worth the RM15 we paid for it.

ARGH!!! Tuesday, April 04, 2006 |

It’s already April, and I still don’t have a clue what I’m doing with my life. I have this stupid, useless degree hanging over my head (that’s the last time I go to college from newspaper ad!) and still jobless (fuck you capitalist bastards!!!!) Anyway, I’m thinking bout going into photography. I’ve been getting quite a lot of praises from the photographs that I took recently in Penang. A quick rummage in my brother’s house, I found this really old SLR camera that is still working! The camera is older than me, and my dad’s hair is still black when our family got this camera. It’s the Minolta X-700 and it’s really cool. The only thing I need to do now is send it for servicing and I’ll have myself an SLR. I wish it was the car though. You know, Mercedes Benz SLR? That bitch Paris Hilton got one. It is so nice that she got to be rich without working, I’m so jealous!

I just realized that I managed to keep this blog for 5 months now. I didn’t know that I have the will power to actually keep maintaining it. I know most of the time it is filled with crap, and it took a few days before I actually update it, but I am proud of myself. At the moment, there’s nothing really good to talk about except the fact that we wont get any visit from Madonna anytime soon. That bitch keeps leaving out Asian countries in her tour, what is up with that!? Instead, she’s going to perform in Turkey! Yes, the Turks got to see her live, but not us. Ok, she’s also going to perform in Osaka and Tokyo, which is Asian, but I don’t think I can afford to fly to Japan. Come on, Singapore is not bad for a tour stop, or KL for that matter.

Message to Madonna: You have fans here too!